My thoughts on brats and brat tramers

I have seen a few people that practice BDSM say that brats are bad and aren't a type of a submissive because they don't want to follow orders. Some people even say that brats need to be tamed.

My thoughts about those ideas are phhhhhbbbbb.

Brats are just playful submissives that like to make BDSM more fun because they like to find loop holes and push back. I personally find just saying yes to everything right away, without joking about it, to be very boring. I like to play around and make jokes with my Master. Keep in mind I am not acting like a brat to take control. I just like to make jokes and play around. I'm being 100% playful; not rude, hurtful, malicious, or manipulative.

If somebody calls themselves a brat but they never listen to any rules or orders, are rude all of the time, lack any type of respect, and manipulate things so they always get their way; are not brats. They are just horrible people.

As for brat tamers; most brats don't want to tamed. Trying to tame a brat is equal to taking their fun away and killing off a part of them. Just ask if a brat wants to be tamed because while some don't, there are some that do.

As with anything in this lifestyle; it all boils down to communication and compatibility. Just because somebody is a playful submissive that doesn't do whatever they are told without question; it does not make them a bad or not a submissive.

Loyalty, laziness, or just contentment?

My Master recently thanked me for being loyal and it just hasn't been sitting right with me.

My Master is currently too busy with getting his degree to pay me any attention and I'm very unhappy. I have expressed this and he just tells me to wait.

I hate waiting though. I'm an impatient little bitch that wants everything now.

I don't know if I'm actually loyal or not because I'm unhappy with him.

I have thought of leaving him but then I was like hell no there are far much worse things out there. Plus I really don't want to have to start over. Also I'm in love with my Master and I don't really want to leave him anyway. Its just a culture thing where Koreans are super obsessed about school.

My main worry is that will my Master pay me any attention when he is finished with his degree?

I fear the unknown. I know I need faith. I do have Faith. 100lbs of Faith.

My dog Faith

So here I am back to the question if I'm actually loyal or not.

BDSM has taught me that that I can say no and that my no matters

Photo credit: pixabay

Long story short but my father would beat me anytime I told him no. I was taught that I could not say no to any man. Well after 20 some odd years and more; I went through actual hell because I was scared to death of ever telling a man no.

It wasn't until I learned about BDSM that I can and should say no. That my no matters. That I won't get beaten for saying no.

So if you ever have a question about if you can say no or not; the answer is yes you can and should say no if you want to. Also if you ever have to question yourself about saying no; then you are probably not in a good mental place or a safe relationship.

What even is a title?

I probably shouldn't be writing this while I'm super tired but if I don't write it right now I will not be able to sleep.

I have the best Master ever.

You know the things that sound really cool in your head but in actual practice its a huge nope.

Well I enjoy forced bi (because pussy tastes awesome) but I'm just not a poly person. I have tried it twice and neither times worked out because of extra stress and I just didn't feel right at all. If I'm with more than one person; I become utterly confused. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. Also I found out that in order for me not to be jealous or territorial; I have turn off my emotions (which is a horrible thing to do and it feels like hell). Nothing is worse than feeling nothing towards people you are supossed to love.

I recently told my Master that I'm into forced bi and that I have zero interest in women but I love eating pussy. Long story short; my Master was like you will be the lead slave and you train the other slave. After he said that I completely regretted what I said before. I got super cranky and was crying a ton (even surprised him by cursing a lot). I told him how it made me feel and he said that its fine all he needs to me (this is why communication is important kiddos).

I still generally feel horrible because of Grave's Disease; but my Master has made, and continues to make, my life feel less empty. I actually feel loved by more than just my dog.

I dun made myself cry again just from writing this.

Totes love;

The Macabre Brat

There is Never a Good Reason for Not Communicating

Photo credit: Death to Stock

This post will be rather short because it doesn't need too much explanation. Anybody that doesn't seem to understand the concept that not communicating is never good needs to get checked out by a physiologist because they either have an ego complex or an id complex (superior/inferior). We are still people, even in this lifestyle. Nobody is superior or inferior. We still require open and honest communication.

Without communication how can there be trust? Its impossible. Constant doubt and fear takes over with prolonged lack of communication. What if the person(s) is sick, hurt, or worse? There is no way to know with proper communication.

Lack of communication also leads to feelings of abandonment. The simple truth is prolonged lack of communication is equal to abandonment.

With current technology, there is no reason to not hear from somebody unless they are not communicating on purpose.

One of the cores of this lifestyle is communication. Without communication you have nothing.

PMS & Submission

Credit: VIXX Voodoo Doll MV

Periods effect every woman differently; so please ask your submissive how her periods are and if she ever gets PMS. If she does get PMS, ask her how bad it is and what helps her most. Some submissives can function normally but some cant when they are PMSing. This includes periods too.

When a submissive is on having PMS and her period it can effect her mood, energy levels, and her senses (including pain levels). It not that the submissive doesn't want to please her Dom while on her period; its just that some cant, or have a harder time, because of the many side effects of PMS. Give her some lee way and don't punish her for not being her normal submissive self.

I get PMDD more often than PMS. PMDD is basically PMS's bigger badder sister. Everything is worse. I want everything and everyone around me to die. One time; I cursed out a manager at one of my jobs because he wouldn't allow me to go on my break because it was busy. I only got away with it was because the store manager didn't believe the other manager because I'm always sweet and patient. I also get super tired and have horrible cramps; so what I can do is limited. Sometimes the cramps are extreme and it even hurts to just move; all I can do is lie down in bed with a heating pad. I also tend to get depressed and feel very alone. Feeling alone but also wanting to kill anybody that comes within 5 feet of you is a horrible feeling. I have tried different things but I don't like how they make me feel. I just have to learn to cope, which doesn't work most of the time. Only thing that seems to help is music.

Fuck life.

BDSM 101: Signs of an Abusive Dom

Photo credit: Death to Stock

This topic will be very hard for me to write because its a very tender subject for me. I have been abused by my father and a few partners. I'm just so lucky to have been able to get away before anything horrible happened to me. I hope that this helps others from feeling trapped, helpless, and lost. There is help out there. I will post links at the bottom.

Many abusers, both men and women, use the guise of Dom/me when in fact they are really just abusive people. Abuse never goes away or gets better; its only gets worse. Here are some signs to let you know that you need to drop everything and leave no matter what.

1. Doms that don't allow you to say no. Yes, you are submissive but you are not a doormat. You still have the right to say no to something that you don't want to do.
2. Using fear as means of control. Nobody should be in fear of their Dom. Fear shows a lack of trust; and without trust there is no BDSM relationship.
3. Wanting you to cut all ties with your family and friends.  This is a way of them isolating you, so you cant leave them. Also, others wont know what is happening and their is a less chance of them getting caught.
4. Turning things around so everything is your fault. This takes away your self esteem and makes you feel more dependent on them. It also makes you feel like you are the reason for their abusive behavior.
5. Forcing you to do things that you don't want to do. Consent, consent, consent. If there isn't any consent then it isn't BDSM its abuse. It doesn't matter what the Dom says; if you cant consent then you need to leave and never look back.
6.  Not allowing you to ask questions. If you aren't allowed to ask questions then how can you properly serve? You cant. This also goes in hand with using fear as a way to control you. You start to fear doing everything because you aren't sure how the Dom wants things done. Then the Dom uses that excuse of not doing things his way and he processes to beat the shit out of you.
7.  Not allowing safe words or else ignoring them. Safe words are used to let Doms know when you are unable to take anymore type of play, no matter the reason. 
8. Ignoring your limits. Everybody has limits for a reason; wither its medical, legal, ethical, etc. Limits are to never be crossed without a prior discussion. Completely ignoring limits shows that the person is un-trust worthy and doesn't have any empathy for how you feel. Also this can lead to dangerous situations that might injure you.
9. Belittling you. They make you think and feel that you are nothing and without them you wont be able to survive on your own.

I can add more but at this point I'm crying and shaking too much because of bad memories. Bottom line is something ever feels off or wrong to you, trust your gut and leave before its too late.

Here are the links to get help and also more information on abuse:

Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline

Support, resources and advice for your safety

1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

• Available: 24/7, 365 days a year. Bilingual advocates on hand.

• Resources: https://www.thehotline.org/

Asperger's Syndrome and BDSM

Photo credit: pixabay

(This writing is a work in progress and is my thoughts and experiences with being a submissive with high functioning autism aka Asperger's syndrome. I just kind of felt like writing this right now so its not very organized. I drank a whole pot of coffee by myself so my brain is like wheee lets do philosophical stuffs.)


Asperger's Syndrome and BDSM: Why Being a Submissive Will Help Those With Asperger's Syndrome/ Why Doms Should Find a Submissive With Asperger's Syndrome

Part 1 - Why Being a Submissive Will Help Those With Asperger's Syndrome

Everyone that considers themselves an aspie has different quirks; mine are about average (being aloof, internalizing everything, socially awkward, can't pick up on social queues, and very specific and limited interests/obsessions). We need somebody to pull us out of our little shell, all while making us feel safe. For example; my boyfriend/Dom knows I hate having to go outside so he takes me anyplace I need to go. He knows I hardly ever talk when out in public and I just wish I was invisible; so he stays by my side and makes sure I feel safe. He also understands that I sometimes panic when I have to talk so he usually does most of the talking to other people for me. That and the fact that I tend to mumble a lot (at least that's what everybody says). He speaks for me and understands that I just have an easier time texting him than speaking face to face. Its a Dom's job to protect and guide their sub. The Dom will make sure that we feel safe all of the time. If we don't then they will do their best to make sure that we are.

Part 2 - Why Doms Should Find a Submissive With Asperger's Syndrome

To put this in the most simple terms one of the major traits of people with Asperger's syndrome (aka aspies) is their extremely limited interests. By limited I mean by usually only liking one thing to the point of being extremely obsessed. They don't like anything else. The good thing about this is that if the aspie happens to get out of their shell and take an interest in you; then you will be their obsession. They wont need anybody else but you. However; this can be a double edged sword. They will have another obsession and if you don't approve of that obsession then you are no longer of an interest to them anymore. For me; I told my Dom that if it was ok that I'm obsessed with kpop. He said it was fine but if he wasn't ok with it then it would cause a major issue. I do love and worship my Dom but my kpop obsession was first and I will never let it go.

Aspies love routines. We normally do the same thing, the same way everyday. Give us something to and we will gladly add it to our daily routine. Hell if I don't have a set routine, I will end up watching the same kpop video over and over and over again.

Another thing; (which I have yet to determine if this a negative or positive for D/s relationships) is that aspies are extremely creative. I had a previous Dom that would tell me an idea he had for a scene and I could think of a whole complex scenario from only a few words. The reason that this can be positive or negative is that aspie hate to have their ideas ignored or laughed at. Its only positive if the Dom understand that the sub isn't trying to top from the bottom or being a brat; we are just super creative. We cant help it; its just how our brain works and we just want to share our wonderful idea with you. If you do happen to do it then great; if not no then hard feelings. We are just grateful that you listened to our idea.

All in all; just because a sub has Asperger's syndrome that doesn't mean they will be a horrible sub, they just need to be treated a little differently because we work a little differently than most people. We just want somebody that will take us out of our little bubble and guide us, all while making us feel as safe and as comfortable as possible. We love being told what to do because for a lot of things we aren't sure what to do (mostly out in public. I call myself a lost puppy).


(Keep in mind this is just my point of view and a work in progress. I'm no professional; just an awkward aspie that like to write)

Submissive with Asperger's Syndrome or a Brat?

Embrace it All

A few days ago I was in a group and I just happened to share that I was extremely happy to share a fantasy I have been having with my Daddy. A few people in the group go on my case telling me that a submissive doesn't act like that and if they do they are a brat and being a brat is the worst thing ever.

Because of me being an aspie, I have tons of thoughts in my head and I love being able to share them without being laughed at or ignored. Being ignored is one of the worst feelings an aspie can ever have. I had a Master that would laugh or else not pay attention when I wanted to share my ideas and fantasies. It crushed me and I was not happy. I left worthless. I had an idea that I thought would add to the relationship but it was ignored. I'm 100% happy now that I found somebody that is willing to let me speak and share my thoughts with; while knowing that I'm not trying to top from the bottom. I don't act out for attention. I just want to feel like I matter.

It might take a while to even know if you are an aspie. I just realized it not too long long. I linked it with my singular obsession, being awkward with people, and the fact that in elementary school teachers thought I had autism because I never made any friends or even talked to other kids.

Aspie subs may, at first, seem extremely bratty but they really aren't. They want to do everything possible for their Dom. They just act differently.

For more in-depth information about BDSM and  Asperger's Syndrome because check out these awesome fetlife groups:
* Aspies & Auties, run by Aspies & Auties
* Aspie Girls
* Autism and Asperger Information Exchange

Submissives On-Line

Me giving the internet the middle finger

Note: Before you read any further; this post is not about finding a submissive on-line. This post is about a submissive's behavior while on-line. The behavior varies greatly; depending on the dynamics of the submissive's relationship and their personal behavior in daily life.

Keeping up with my On-Line BDSM theme; I figured that I should talk about submissives behavior while on-line.

Outside of their BDSM relationship, which can include being on-line, most submissives don't act very submissive. A lot of on-line groups I know of are run by submissives. The most active members of these groups are also submissives. I also know of a lot of submissive bloggers. You may not even be able to tell that they are submissive unless they tell you.

There tons of complex answers as to why submissives may not act submissive on-line. That would require a long in-depth and boring analysis; that not many people would want to read. I figure that for the my style of writing and this blog; it would be best to give the short answer to this so-called phenomenon.

The reason for submissives not acting very submissive on-line is because they are only submissive towards their Dom. They still treat others with respect and are accountable for their own actions. They know that they aren't doormats for everybody to use; so they act more dominate than normal. They aren't afraid to speak up and ask questions. They give advice to others and share useful information. If they see another submissive in a troubling situation, they do their best to help.

Just because there is a submissive on-line that isn't acting very submissive; it doesn't mean that that submissive isn't any less submissive. The submissive can be the most submissive person in real life. You are just only seeing the on-line side of the submissive; not how they normally act. A lot of people act differently on-line than they do in real life; including people that are in the BDSM lifestyle.