The Death of I (poem)

The Death of I

By: Macabre Brat

she used to use I all the time

In fact she thought that talking about herself in the third person was strange

The longer she belonged to Him

The less she wanted to use I

In fact talking in the third person became natural and made since

she no longer was her own person

she belonged to Him

she wanted nothing more than to be His

Sting of the Whip (poem)

Sting of the Whip

By: Macabre Brat

He picks her up when she is down

He is her rock when she needs to stand on firm ground

He is her everything

she can’t wait till she can feel the sting of His kiss

Master and slave (poem)

Master and slave

By: Macabre Brat

Two different people

One mind, body, and soul

When one is sick, sad, or having a hard time

The other feels the same

Two different people

Linked together in such away even words can’t describe

Master and slave

List of Non-Fiction Informational BDSM Books

Photo credit: Death to Stock

This a list of classic and popular books on various BDSM topics. I even added the Amazon quick links for easier use.

General BDSM

* Come Hither: A Commonsense Guide To Kinky Sex; by Gloria G. Brame

*  Consensual Sadomasochism: How To Talk About It and Do It Safely; by William A. Henkin, PhD. & Sybil Holliday

* Different Loving; by Gloria Brame, Job Jacobs, & Jon Brame

* Learning the Ropes: A Basic Guide to Safe and Fun S/m Lovemaking; by Race Bannon

* The New Bottoming Book; by Dossie Easton & Janet Hardy (or Liszt)

* The New Topping Book ;by Dossie Easton & Janet Hardy (or Liszt)

* Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns; by Philip Miller & Molly Devon

* Sensuous Magic; by Pat Califia

* SM 101; by Jay Wiseman

* As Kinky as You Wanna Be: Your Guide to Safe, Sane and Smart BDSM; by Shanna Germain

* BDSM Mastery - Basics: your guide to play, parties, and scene protocols; by Robert J. Rubel Ph.D. & M. Jen Fairfield

Dominance and Submission

* Becoming a Slave; by Jack Rinella

* Erotic Slavehood: A Miss Abernathy Omnibus; by Christina Abernathy

* The Loving Dominant; by John Warren

* The Mistress Manual: the Good Girl’s Guide to Female Dominance; by Mistress Lorelei

* Partners in Power; by Jack Rinella

* The Sexually Dominant Woman: A Workbook for Nervous Beginners; by Lady Green

* How to be a Healthy and Happy Submissive; by Kate Kinsey

* Master/slave Mastery: Updated handbook of concepts, approaches, and practices; by Robert J. Rubel Ph.D. & M Jen Fairfield

* BDSM Mastery-Relationships:: a guide for creating mindful relationships for Dominants and submissives; by Robert J. Rubel Ph.D. & M. Jen Fairfield

Impact Play

* The Compleat Spanker; by Lady Green

* Flogging; by Joseph Bean

* Toybag Guide to Canes and Caning; by Janet Hardy

* Hot Crossed Buns: A Beginner's Guide To Spanking; by Tasha Lee

Bondage

* Erotic Bondage Handbook; by Jay Wiseman 

* Shibari You Can Use: Japanese Rope Bondage; by Lee Bridgett Harrington

* Back on the Ropes; by Two Knotty Boys (kindel only)

* The Beauty of Kinbaku; by Master "K"

Poly

* The Ethical Slut; by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy (or Liszt)

* More Than Two: A practical guide to ethical polyamory; by & Franklin Veaux Eve Rickert

Miscellaneous

* Anal Pleasure and Health: Guide for Men, Women and Couples; by Dr. Jack Morin 

* The Family Jewels; by Hardy Haberman

* A Hand in the Bush: The Fine Art of Vaginal Fisting; by Deborah Addington

* LeatherFolk: Radical Sex, People, Politics, and Practice; by Mark Thompson

* Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women; by Tristan Taormina

* When Someone you Love is Kinky; by Dossie Easton and Catherine Lizst

* Play Piercing; by Deborah Addington

* The Toybag Guide to Dungeon Emergencies and Supplies; by Jay Wiseman

* Branding 277 Success Secrets: 277 Most Asked Questions On Branding - What You Need To Know; by Tammy Levine

* Health Care Without Shame: A Handbook for the Sexually Diverse and Their Caregivers; by Charles Moser

* Leather and Latex Care: How to Keep Your Leather and Latex Looking Great; by Kelly J. Thibault

* Beneath the Skins: The New Spirit and Politics of the Kink Community; by Ivo Dominguez Jr.

* The Toybag Guide to Hot Wax & Temperature Play; by Spectrum

* The Toybag Guide to Clips and Clamps; by Jack Rinella

* The Toybag Guide to Medical Play; by Tempest

* The Toybag Guide to Foot and Shoe Worship; by Midori

*** Bonus ***

A fictional book I highly recommend also reading is Story of O by Anne Desclos

Be Cautious With On-line BDSM

Photo credit: Death to Stock

I have seen this issue in other online groups so I will also bring it up here. Hopefully I provide some helpful tips to prevent anybody from being hurt by online Doms/subs.

With the addition of the internet it makes it easier for predators and abusers to contact people in this lifestyle and use them (not in a good way). Doms and subs can hide behind their keyboard pretending to be an expert; while all they are, are fakes.

Please be wary when talking to anybody you don't know. Don't give out personal info. Also I would recommend to have your Facebook profile set to private or else create a cover account (fake name and picture with no other info filled in) that is used for any BDSM groups/actives.  If you happen to get any friend requests or messages from people in the groups your are in; be polite but decline if they ask for any of your info. Even if the person asking for your info happens to be an admin of the group(s) you are a member of. They have no right to know anything about you.

Being in a BDSM Relationship Doesn't Automatically Mean You Have to Be Poly

Advice to live by.

I hate seeing a Dom that wants to be poly but the sub doesn't want it. The sub tries talking to their Dom about it but their Dom doesn't listen. Fuck that shit if my Dom doesn't listen me I tell them bye bye, fuck you I can find somebody that will listen to me. I'm way too jealous to be poly. I would probably end up hurting the other person. I had one Dom try to force me into a poly relationship. I kept telling him no, unless he wanted me to leave because I see it as not needing me. It makes me feel useless and unwanted. What is mine is mine and if anybody touches him I will fuck them up. Some people can do poly and that's fine, but it's not for me.

Being in a poly relationship is one of the things that should be talked about before entering into a BDSM relationship. Many people that are part of the lifestyle are in a poly relationship but not everybody is. For every poly relationship I know of, I can think of two monogamous relationships. This might vary because I don't hang around that many poly people. Seeing how it works fantasizes me though. It's super complex and isn't for everybody. A lot of the times, turning a monogamous relationship into poly can break the relationship. It takes a lot of work. Also it seems in order to have a good poly relationship everybody has to have very open communication and nobody must be loved more than others or else it creates friction.

Its true that poly is part of BDSM. However; its not right to think that every BDSM relationship is poly and that everybody in BDSM wants a poly relationship. If your partner doesn't respect your thoughts and stance on having a poly relationship then its a sign that you need to rethink about being with your partner.


 

Receiving Hate While in the Lifestyle

The Clique (2008)

I have noticed that while in this lifestyle; there seems to be more hate from others also in this lifestyle than vanillas.

Everybody in this lifestyle knows the saying You're Kink Is Not My Kink (YKINMK) but very few seem to practice it. They understand how things work but they are extremely judgmental of others in this lifestyle that act or think differently.

Some people think that BDSM is black and white. You are either A, so you don't do B and therefore you must do C and E. Or else; you are B, so you don't do A and therefore you must do D and F. If you aren't that person's ideal, then you are wrong. If you don't think how they think and do what they do; then you are not welcome and labeled as an outcast.

A lot of things in BDSM have no clear definition or way to do things. People can do things differently while still keeping in mind any risks. Just because they are doing things differently doesn't make them wrong. They are doing what works best for them.

We get judged enough from vanillas; so we should understand the need to keep an open mind. As long as a person is happy and they aren't doing anything deeply detrimentally to their health and well being then there shouldn't be an issue.