Start of a New Chapter...

Photo credit: pixabay

I have decided that even though I'm currently unowned and I'm a free slave that I will continue to write in this journal because there is a lot of insight into myself written here.

A person's life doesn't start over just because a person they cared about left. They continue on and add that to their life experience.

I also like to write; even if its just for myself.

I don't necessary hate my ex because without him I would have never wanted to learn about Korea.

I hope one day I can afford to take the TOESL test and teach English in Korea or Japan

Current mood...

Never thought a kpop song would ever deciribe how I feel but this is 100% me right now

Idk...

I do love my Master but I hate the way he constantly ignores me. Master was wonderful at first because he would message me almost everyday but now he only seems to message me when he wants me to do his English work.

I have made a promise that I wouldnt leave my Master but Im starting to regret making that promise...

All it is doing is making me back into an emotionless cold heated bitch...

I remember my Master saying he was thankful to me but it doesnt show. It almost felt like it was saying thank you to a customer for buying something...

I just feel so alone and unloved...

I dont know what I want to do yet but I know what must be done...

People dont change unless they want to

Understand...

I understand it now when I ask my mom how can could stand to be married to my dad for over 30 years. She thinks of other things because my dad hardly ever pays her any attention. She also reads romance books because she never gets any romance.

I dont need to read things because of my awesome imagation.

I really do feel like I have been married for a long time and Im just taken for granted that I will  always be here.

Yes Master is busy but I need him too. Im like a flower without the sun. I will wilt and die...

Also I remember my Master either saying that he didnt want his property to think or else he wrote that in his ad that  I saw on fetlife...

If he doesnt want me to think he better make sure I dont get bored...

If Im not doing anything I day dream a lot...

Here is a list of some of the things I have thought of...

*While Im doing arrends my Master randomly takles me and has sex with me right where we are
*Sex in the woods
*Sex in the librabry (basically any and every place)
*Master lets me have my own slave boy and we turn him into a cuckhold
*Me and Master move over to South Korea and he gets a few idols to fuck me
*Master working at home and he has me chained under his desk and its my job to keep sucking his dick
*Master making pornos with me
*Master beating my ass till its purple then him checking me to make sure Im ok, then we fuck and he continues to spank me. After he is done he takes care of me and fixes me tea and soup
*And soooo many more things. Too many to list.

I will do anything for my Master as long as it isnt illegal, immoral, and Im the only woman his is with. Im fine if Master wants me to be with other men (as long as Master is there with me and has picked the men himself) but I would feel hurt and betrayed if Master wants to have another female.

Also...

Sick and tried of seeing twerking videos all over the net, esp facebook.

Class beats trash everyday.

I know Im not super classy but I try to act like I am...

~~~

The more exclusive and elusive a person is the more valuable they are. They are a super rare one of a kind commodity.

I strive to be different, rare, and unique.

My circle of friends is super small. (Just Horace)

Master is my friend too but he is so much more than that to me. He is my everything.

Dont Just Think of Yourself...

My dad wanted to go to the Popeye's near us so he could get himself a chicken dinner. He said he doesnt have enough money to get everybody a chicken dinner so he is just getting a chicken dinner for himself. I told him that he should think about other people too and not just think about himself. He told me that I just wanted a chicken dinner too... Fried chicken is the grossest food that I have eaten and wouldnt eat it even if I was starving... Hell I cant stand eating fast food period because its nasty tasting, smells horrible, makes me sick, and has a ton of additives. Thank you but I rather not poison myself with the food I eat. I also also eaten so much chicken I dont like it anymore.

I keep telling my dad to stop wasting money on junk food but he is like its his money and he will buy whatever he wants...

I cant wait until Im able to leave here

Procrastinator...

I think Master is a procrastinator. Whenever I need to do something I usually do it right away unless Im busy or not feeling well. In school I always finished projects and papers as soon as possible. Its never good to rush because there is a higher chance of errors and the quality will be lower than if you didnt need to rush. Though one time I purposely waited to do a paper at the last minute just so I could experience pulling an all-nigther... I never did that again because I was dead and I slept through most of my classes.

I dont mind when Master gives me things last minute but I would prefer if I had ample time to make sure that I was able to do as best as possible. When I have to rush I might miss things and usually there isnt time to go over what I have done... Also when Im tired my English is horrible... I hope I didnt mess up too much last night. I tried my best but most of the things I could tell what I wrote and sent him and what he wrote himself... I could understand what I wrote... What my Master wrote I was like huh, I understand these words are English but none of this makes any since...