Remember...

Even though its cold out dont wear 4 pairs of sweat pants, 3 shirts and 2 coats. Stupid bitch was stupid and almost died from heat stroke going grocery shopping. She had to take both of her coats off because she felt faint. Buying a bunch of heavy stuff didnt really help either. She had trouble getting everything home because it was sooo heavy

Excalty what this bitch wants...

Master wont scare me away with what he said tonight because its what this stupid bitch wants.


She was soo sad when Master broke up with her over some stupid misunderstanding. Sorry but this bitch gets jealous and only wants Master for herself.


She was so happy (though somewhat puzzled) after a month when Master asked if she wanted another chance.

She only hopes she will be good enough for her Master.

Ce n'est pas, Orgasms, and Demon Butlers

Im back logged on stuff I have bee wanting to write so this will be a 3-in-1. This will be quick though cause its too cold to really type a lot.

Yesterday in skype when I said to my Master Parlez-vous francais? (Do you speak French?) It was rather funny when he replied with "I dont speak french"... Im not sure if he really had no idea what I said or if he was twisting my nipples around. True I did take 3 years of French in college but I got stuck on the difference from saying fish and poison in French.

My Masters voice is orgasmic. Yep. Im not sure if there is a term for it but I get turned out a lot by deep voices with accents.


I was taking a stab in the dark when I told my Master that when he send me a pic of himself with his eye patch that he reminded me of Ciel. It could have gone three ways: he couldve had no idea what I was talking about, he couldve been offended, or he would know what I was talking about. He know and I was all smiles. Besides yaoi (the hard core yaoi), Black Butler is my favorite anime. I have tried reading the manga but I love Japanese voice actors. They have sexy voices... But my Master has the sexiest voice of all

My dad...

Has gotten on my last nerve.  He always only thinks of himself and doesnt give a fuck about anybody else.

I can only handle so much. When I found he fried the whole package of sausages I bought. I was pissed. Ever since a few years ago when he got the deep frier; me and my mom have told him we dont like fried foods. I cant eat anything greasy or it makes me sick.

I was feed up because he wasted a whole lot of food and I threw the deep frier in the backyard. Whenever my dad gets mad he throws and smashes stuff so I figured I should give him a taste of his own medicine.

Its no use trying to reason with my dad because he never listens. He thinks he is all high and mighty and can  never do any wrong.

He keeps talking about he is an old man and will die soon but he isnt even 70 yet... When he does die it will be a happy occasion for me.  If I do happen to shed any tears they will be of happiness and relief because he has made me and my moms life a living hell. I admire my mom for putting up with him for all these years and will worry about her when I move out

Venting...

I know I am not supposed to curse but this is my diary where I am free to write my thoughts (at least I think I can) so  am gonna vent for a while


I cannot stand living in this fucking house any more. I cant have my own room where I can have some fucking privacy like a grown daugther should. If I ever want to do anything that I need any kind of privacy I need to use the bathroom.

I cannot even use the bathroom without cleaning it first. My mom has issues going to the bathroom. She wont even clean up after she shit all over the floor so I have to. Also my dad like to put his shit stained draws in the bathtub. This place is go fucking gross its prob the reason while I feel sick now.

On top of all that its freezing in here. I have to wear so many clothes it takes me 5 minutes to get undressed and once Im naked I feel like Im gonna freeze to death.  The furnace just had to break when its one of the coldest winters with the polar vortexes.

If only someplace would give me some kind of fucking job. I cant work in a place that has food because lots of stuff makes me sick, like greasy shit.

If I ever have any kids while my parents are still living in this house they will not see their grandchildren till they learn how to clean up. I will not subject my children to this place

Got my glass dildo

Its about 9 inches long

This kind scares me cause its sooo big I hope it fits...

Its clear glass. Hope it can be seen ok

Also...

I am not sure if its supposed to be part of the punishmet but I dont see being called a stupid bitch as a bad thing. Its true I am a stupid bitch

Im glad for any name Master wants to call me as long as its Him calling me something. I would rather die if Master stopped paying me any type of attention. There is no worse feeling than loneiness


(So far everything I have written in this dry has made me cry, happy and sad tears... My glasses are even fogging up from my tears)

Surgery

I hope Masters surgery goes well.

I was lucky that with my detached retina that it didnt effect my vision. Its bad that it effects Masters vision.

If I had to I would give up my sight for Master

Im a stupid bitch...

for ever doubting my Master and not believing Him.

I am also stupid for allowing another man to take over me and tell my true Master that I didnt want Him back.

I only hope Im able to prove myself to be good enough to be His property.