No job yet...

Keep putting in at least 4 applications a week but nobody ever calls me back. This is so frustrating

I know Master is in college and college students have no money so Im not even gonna ask him to help pay for my plane ticket to see him. I know I should depend on him but I have never been the type of person to ask for help. Im the type of person that will struggle and never ask for help. I was even like that as a kid in elementary school

Back to normal

I feel back to my normal self now... I hate it when Im PMSing. Im not sure if I did the right thing in pushing my Master away but I didnt want to say anything to him that I didnt mean.

I also hope that he understand what PMS is and that I didnt purposely push him away

Women are complex...

When feeling lonely  you would think that we would want to talk to their loved ones but noooo... I need to be left alone in fear of saying something stupid  that I dont really mean

I just feel so drained right now I cant deal with other people. Its like I have nothing left to give

Also the thing about me masturbating by myself I never get any pleasure out if. I only masturbate if told to and its all for Him. I have always been like that. Like Lady Gaga said I was born this way

Venting

Every since a few days when my Master got on my case about not being with him it seems like he has been very distant. I know he has class and work but we hardly ever talk anymore. I feel emotionally drained because so far I have done so much for him while he seems to be giving me minimum effort.

I know its different now that he took me back but I miss our talks and seeing his face. I dont think he realizes how I feel without him and its hard to put in words Hell ever since I realized I was a slave and was willing to give my life over to another person my emotions have been crazy. I know I need to be patient and I dont want another Master. I just would like one message a day so I know he still thinks about me a little and is still alive.

I know its supposed to be all about him but what about when Im unhappy and feeling neglected...

I need to buy more tissues because Im almost out again

Grocery shopping day...

Today stupid bitch is going food shopping...

She hopes this time when she goes out that guys wont try humping her legs like horny dogs

... yeah...

Didnt think things through well enough.

Master has brought up getting stupid bitches nipples pierced at least 3 times. she wanted to please him and show her devotion so even though she didnt like the idea she got it done yesterday...

The piercing wasnt bad. Even the dull pain isnt bad. What she cant really stand is cleaning them. They are still bleeding a little and whenever stupid bitch sees blood she starts to feel faint (definition of faint http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Syncope_%28medicine%29)

She is trying her best but the first time she cleaned them she physically got sick and was about to call her home for help but just thought to myself Master wants her to stay strong so she hurried and finished cleaning them then she rested in bed...

Day two of cleaning them (cleaned them twice so far today) ~~ Only way she was able to get through it is to hype herself up a lot and to keep repeating to herself that she made her Master proud. She did have to sit down and take breaks during cleaning them so she wouldnt faint and get sick...

stupid bitch just sees this as one of those things in life that you have to deal with. In life things happen you may not enjoy but you just have to endure it

Also all this worrying is stressing stupid bitch out and making her feel drained... she feels soooo tired and just to sleep...

Finally found the song...

stupid bitch has heard this before at the end of some livestreams. She really loves the song but never really paid attention to the name of the song but she found it... She isn't that much into dubstep