Boyfriend's Bestfriend....

The members of Boyfriend changed their hair style again and I cant tell who is who except for two of them. I still havent figured out which ones are twins because to me three of them look exactly alike

All that really matters is that I can pick out my Master out of a room full of Asians *crosses her fingers and hopes she doesnt pick the wrong one*

Side Note: Funny thing is; my mom tells me the story of her not recongizing my dad after he came back from his Air Force duties over seas. She told my aunt that nooo he is to handsome to be her husband and my aunt was like nope thats hims :P

Everybody gets me and my mom confused. Fate will only tell how much we really are alike. For right now Im doing the same as she did. Lived with her parents till she was over 30, havent been married yet, and not kids. My mom had me when she was 32. I hope I have my first kid before then.... But thats not up to me. 

Dreams...

For the morning that I can remembers what I dreamt about that night its either me running away from something, me being stuck inside of a burning building with no way out, one of my various dreams about sex, and me being a goddess (the original one and only god that happens to still be alive) with great powers but just woke up from a deep sleep where Im very weak cant remember much. I must be taken care of and at one point have my head chopped off to prevent me from becoming a monster. Once my head is chopped off I regain all of my powers and memories and me and the guy that was taking care of me have sex...

Last night I had a very different dream...

I actually dreamed of being pregnant and working in a toy store so me and my Master (yes i have many dreams of my Master. All good ones too) could afford to have the baby. He would only let me work until I got to the point that I would have back pains from carrying the baby. He always happened to be near by and watching to make sure me and the baby was ok...

Loved that dream so much...

Another thing about the dream I remember is specially saying I didnt want to buy a toy for our baby because it had nonsense words on it... I have heard a lot that in dreams you are unable to read words... Maybe I was just testing myself to see if I could read words in my dreams

Lucky...

Im so lucky to still have my Master...

I have been missing him a lot and that is probably why I have been extra cranky...

So happy that he is letting me watch him while he is at work. Some people may thing that it stupid but he is letting me part of him life <3

Im so glad that he hasnt left me for good.

I have to do my best to be worthy of being his


~~~

Also the nautghty thing I thought of today while watching him at work today ~

Is that I hope he chews my lips, nipples, clit and anything else he wants to chew on as well as he chews his gum <3

What Drew Her to Her Master...

One of the major things that make me want to send the first message to my Master was that he didnt want his property have to think. He would make all the decisions.

All my brain has done for me was caused me trouble because I tend to be over analytical and over thing everything. My brain is like a sponge and absorbs everything around it. Then Im left with the task of processing all the info over the next few hours or days. Trying my best to understand the meanings of everything.

My Master has the wonderful ability of pulling me in and only thinking about him by just hearing his voice and seeing his face.

I honestly do trust him in my heart but its my mind that causes me to doubt him. I know he must hate whenever I doubt him...


Funny (and gross) thing is that the patterns my snot has been making when I blow my nose is a heart...

~~~~~

This morning I though that was my Master at work was kinda stupid but it honesty did make me feel better. Maybe I have been feeling so shitty is because I miss him a lot

At an Impass...

I really dont know what to do now...

It feels like my word is crumbling apart...

I have been non stop crying for the past view days. I try to tell my Master but he only seems to care about and has time for himself...

I have broken up with people all because they have only ever wanted to use me for sex but now Im not getting any...

Dirty Mop Status...

The punishment my Master gave me just made me feel worse...

Nothing like rubbing your clit while crying because it feels like things are wrong...


I have a very high sex drive and need it regularly or else I get very bitchy...

I dont know if Koreans are just not used to having sex regularly but I am. Going from having sex 2 or 3 times a week to hardly ever isnt normal for me.

Still not sure what I did wrong except for doubting my Master. The doubts had very good proof too. I even asked my best friend who is a guy and he even said that not using a girlfriend for a long time is a bad sign and probably means he is cheating.

I really dont know anymore. I just feel emotionally drained. I have been crying so much and have all these pent up emotions. I need a release soon or else its just gonna blow up in my Master face...

Im actually starting to feel like what I felt like before I broke up with my ex just minus any sex. If my ex wasnt having any sex with me than he didnt want anything to do with him

Master...?

First things first...

I need to cum soon or else Im going to go crazy. I know its up to my Master when and if I cum or not but still if a peasants needs arent taken care of they will revolt...


Another thing...

I tend to play dumb a lot just to make my life easier because one of my first memories in school was always finishing assignments first and other students always asking me for me...

One of my pet peeves is I hate when other people bother me. Im like like that fuck do you want. Leave me the fuck alone. I dont want your germs and to listen to your stupid babbling...

Well you see... I have a great memory and I remember that for one of the first writing assignments I did for my Master was about him gradating. He said that he graduated when he was 18. Which according to his birthday that would have been 2004. My Master and my brother where born in the same year.

Well helping him filling out his college stuff he said that he graduated high school in 2006. I might have miss heard it but Im pretty sure he said 2006. Not like it matters too much. Maybe it was a test to see if I was paying attention. Hell I do little tests to see how well my Master pays attention to me...

I remember one of the time he wanted to cum and I was holding in on purpose. He was like hurry up and cum. He really does read my body very well. Which I totally love.