At an Impass...

I really dont know what to do now...

It feels like my word is crumbling apart...

I have been non stop crying for the past view days. I try to tell my Master but he only seems to care about and has time for himself...

I have broken up with people all because they have only ever wanted to use me for sex but now Im not getting any...

Dirty Mop Status...

The punishment my Master gave me just made me feel worse...

Nothing like rubbing your clit while crying because it feels like things are wrong...


I have a very high sex drive and need it regularly or else I get very bitchy...

I dont know if Koreans are just not used to having sex regularly but I am. Going from having sex 2 or 3 times a week to hardly ever isnt normal for me.

Still not sure what I did wrong except for doubting my Master. The doubts had very good proof too. I even asked my best friend who is a guy and he even said that not using a girlfriend for a long time is a bad sign and probably means he is cheating.

I really dont know anymore. I just feel emotionally drained. I have been crying so much and have all these pent up emotions. I need a release soon or else its just gonna blow up in my Master face...

Im actually starting to feel like what I felt like before I broke up with my ex just minus any sex. If my ex wasnt having any sex with me than he didnt want anything to do with him

Master...?

First things first...

I need to cum soon or else Im going to go crazy. I know its up to my Master when and if I cum or not but still if a peasants needs arent taken care of they will revolt...


Another thing...

I tend to play dumb a lot just to make my life easier because one of my first memories in school was always finishing assignments first and other students always asking me for me...

One of my pet peeves is I hate when other people bother me. Im like like that fuck do you want. Leave me the fuck alone. I dont want your germs and to listen to your stupid babbling...

Well you see... I have a great memory and I remember that for one of the first writing assignments I did for my Master was about him gradating. He said that he graduated when he was 18. Which according to his birthday that would have been 2004. My Master and my brother where born in the same year.

Well helping him filling out his college stuff he said that he graduated high school in 2006. I might have miss heard it but Im pretty sure he said 2006. Not like it matters too much. Maybe it was a test to see if I was paying attention. Hell I do little tests to see how well my Master pays attention to me...

I remember one of the time he wanted to cum and I was holding in on purpose. He was like hurry up and cum. He really does read my body very well. Which I totally love.

Clouds, Kittens, & Command Prompts...

Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happpy <3

Love when Master lets me hear his voice and see his face. Makes me just want him more and I continue trying to fighting to get job so I can be with him.


His cats are sooo cute too. I love cats <3

I have always been a cat person. My mom always tells me the story of when I was a new born and how her cat would sleep at the top of my head to keep me warm.

Yes dogs are nice but its takes a lot more effort and patience to get a cat to like you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Im still making some money, but some I mean less than $10 a month, for my youtube videos. It used to be a lot more but youtube seems to hate yaoi visual novels so I have starting putting them up on dailymotion.

One of my favorite streamers says its ok to upload his Saturday night streams to youtube because he doesnt do that himself.

My own thing is the downloaded videos are .flv and I need to switch them to .mp4. I have a program to switch it but I cant get it to work. Every time I try it it says that the file is invalid but it isnt.

I have no idea what Im doing wrong :(

Here is the instructions to switch the file formats https://obsproject.com/forum/resources/how-to-convert-flvs-to-mp4-fast-without-re-encoding.78/

Getting Cold Already...

This winter is really going to suck again. Hopefully Im able to get a job soon so I can live with my Master.

Last winter wasnt as bad because my house had at least working hot water but now the hot water heater stopped working. No heat and no hot water is gonna suck. Guess I will have to boil water and wash off fast before I freeze. Doubt I could even wash my hair because its supposed to be the super cold arctic temperatures again and I dont want to get sick.

Would be nice to have money to fix things when they are broken like people normally do

Master Wanted To Talk...

Still waiting on Master to have a talk with me. I hope its good news. I am kinda nervous though, because sometimes it seems like I just cause him more trouble

Results From The Doc's App..

The doc gave me some meds to help my sinuses. For the pmdd she recommended either have her prescribe me some antidepressants or else she could give me a referral to see a gyno to change my birth control pills. I opted for the gyno because I am not depressed and I have heard that sometimes taking antidepressants have bad side effects.

If I dont need to take meds I rather not take them. Thats one of the things I dont like about some doctors. For some doctors you go in with a cold and a stuffy nose and they write you 7 different prescriptions without really trying to cure you. Some doctors just listen to what you say and dont even look at you.

I like my doc though. She is a nice lady and is very thorough with her examinations.