Blood and Faults...

The past few days have been hard on me. I really hate that some times before my period everything irritates me. One thing I got out from this is that I dont ever want to leave my Master. He is in my blood and he is part of me. Every part of me is his.

Even though he isnt prefect there isnt such a thing as a prefect person. People have faults and you have to learn how to deal with them. Also from the different sites and blogs I have read about dating Korean men is that they are workaholics. Even though he may not be there for me all the time I know (at least I hope so) that he wishes that he was there

I swear...

My dad never listens to anything anybody tells him.

Me and my mom keep telling him that him smoking makes us both sick and to please stop but he hasnt. Why did he even randomly take up smoking anyway. He never used to smoke before.

I doubt he remembers the time after my Grandma died from lung cancer because she smoked all her life. We went to a restaurant but all they has was tables in the smoking section so we sat down there. I starting crying saying that I couldnt breathe and that I didnt want to die from the smoke. It got so bad we had to leave the restaurant.

My dad only cares about himself. He has always been like that. He doesnt care if he is making other people's lives miserable; all that matters is that he is happy.

I honestly dont see how my mom can stay married to him because I cant stand to be around him.

Made In Korea...

I swear the most stupid things make me happy.

I have been feeling pretty shitting and I just happened to see that the cup I was drinking from was made in Korea...

My Master is from Korea too... It made me smile and feel happy

Stay Calm...

Getting annoyed that Master is ignored me. He has been ignoring me for a while as a matter of fact. He didnt say anything when I sent him my project for him.

I have to do my best to not message him in skype and tell him that he is a shitty Master.

I know this anger is just my PMDD.

I just want to feel normal again

Philosophy Time With Dr. Stupid Bitch ...

Im feeling a little better so I figured I should do a more light hearted post...

Ever since I can remember I have always admired and idolized Asian culture. They are smart and have the best technically, yet they still believe in legends and superstitions, while caring about family and nature.

This is going to sound very strange but as per Asian languages I have learned it up to the point of being able to tell which writing is what language. The same for the sounds of the language. I am but a mere peasant and have no right in speaking the god's language (hope this makes since to my Master). If he wants me to actually learn how to speak Korean then I will.

Know I Shouldnt...

But I will...

This is my journal and Im free to write whatever I want so I will write this...

If I have to demand for sex from my Master then I will not be happy.

I have a very high sex drive. Even with my ex I had to jump on top on him at least twice a week because I needed sex.

My Master better handle my needs better or else I will not be happy.

If he doesnt give me what I need than I will take care of it myself.

I know some of this anger is from my PMDD but some of this is truth; which is why Im writing this post.

Today...

Today I just want to crawl into a deep dark cave, curl up into a ball, scream as loud as I can and cry my eyes out and never come out of the cave.