I swear...

My dad never listens to anything anybody tells him.

Me and my mom keep telling him that him smoking makes us both sick and to please stop but he hasnt. Why did he even randomly take up smoking anyway. He never used to smoke before.

I doubt he remembers the time after my Grandma died from lung cancer because she smoked all her life. We went to a restaurant but all they has was tables in the smoking section so we sat down there. I starting crying saying that I couldnt breathe and that I didnt want to die from the smoke. It got so bad we had to leave the restaurant.

My dad only cares about himself. He has always been like that. He doesnt care if he is making other people's lives miserable; all that matters is that he is happy.

I honestly dont see how my mom can stay married to him because I cant stand to be around him.

Made In Korea...

I swear the most stupid things make me happy.

I have been feeling pretty shitting and I just happened to see that the cup I was drinking from was made in Korea...

My Master is from Korea too... It made me smile and feel happy

Stay Calm...

Getting annoyed that Master is ignored me. He has been ignoring me for a while as a matter of fact. He didnt say anything when I sent him my project for him.

I have to do my best to not message him in skype and tell him that he is a shitty Master.

I know this anger is just my PMDD.

I just want to feel normal again

Philosophy Time With Dr. Stupid Bitch ...

Im feeling a little better so I figured I should do a more light hearted post...

Ever since I can remember I have always admired and idolized Asian culture. They are smart and have the best technically, yet they still believe in legends and superstitions, while caring about family and nature.

This is going to sound very strange but as per Asian languages I have learned it up to the point of being able to tell which writing is what language. The same for the sounds of the language. I am but a mere peasant and have no right in speaking the god's language (hope this makes since to my Master). If he wants me to actually learn how to speak Korean then I will.

Know I Shouldnt...

But I will...

This is my journal and Im free to write whatever I want so I will write this...

If I have to demand for sex from my Master then I will not be happy.

I have a very high sex drive. Even with my ex I had to jump on top on him at least twice a week because I needed sex.

My Master better handle my needs better or else I will not be happy.

If he doesnt give me what I need than I will take care of it myself.

I know some of this anger is from my PMDD but some of this is truth; which is why Im writing this post.

Today...

Today I just want to crawl into a deep dark cave, curl up into a ball, scream as loud as I can and cry my eyes out and never come out of the cave.

Words Associations...

I realized something...

Me getting depressed, worried, and even hornier than normal can only mean one thing...

My period will be starting soon...

I thought to myself:

Warning...

Warning...

Igeon overdose...

My PMDD will probably be acting up because Im not my usually happy and positive person. Yes these pills do help to a point but its not completely gone...


Music always calms me down and since this has warning, warning as the first words I figured this song would be the best and yes it is <3

(I would like to thank my Master for being Korean or else I would have never found out about kpop)