Memories

Its about 70 out and to me thats freezing so I had to wear my indoor coat... Yes I have an indoor and an outdoor coat. Well about two different indoor coats and about 3 outdoor coats...

Well in the pocket of said coat I found my little baggie of salt I used for when my nipples still needed the warm salt water soaks

Re: Re: Re: Nipple Rings

After about 5 months Im still very surprised at myself for getting them done...

Even though when my Master brought it up it made my stomach turn.  The first few days where when it was still bleeding. Seeing the blood made me almost pass out...

So very happy I got them done...

Like it better than getting a tattoo because its a constant reminder of my Master...

Not really sure what else to say about them except thinking about what I have done for my Master makes me feel like Im swimming in a warm bubbly pool of floating happiness (you know the like super kawii sparkly water parts in animes)

Goals...

The more I read those books about Korea and Korean immigrants the more I feel less of myself. Koreans seem to be super hard working and determined...

While all I have ever wanted to be is a good wife, slave & mother...

Its not that Im lazy but I just want to do whatever to is needed keep my man (my Master) happy

Another Dream...

Had another dream about my Master. This one was a little different though...

I was the favorite niece of the Queen of England... I was living as a royal in Buckingham Place.. My Master was assigned to be my personal bodyguard but after a while he had to quit being my bodyguard. I asked why he wanted to quit because he was so good to me and he said he had to quit because he fell in love with me...

Well the Queen knew of this and she allowed me to make a choice. My Master could quit and be kicked out of place or else he could stay as my partner. I wanted him to stay and the more he knew about me the more he found that I hated having power. I hated telling servants what to do etc...

He could tell that I wanted to do whatever he told me to do so he made me his property... <3

Thats all of the dream I remember esp for that one time in our summer house where there was a party and  we sneaked off to have sex near the lake. I was wearing a white dress with nothing underneath and when I went in the water it turned see thru. Well my Master just had to take what was his and we had sex right there not caring if anybody saw us but he made sure I stayed quiet <3

Best friend ever

Talking for about 3 hrs with my friend and I feel a little better.

He is such a nice guy and told me maybe my boyfriend is just busy and thats why I havent heard from him. Though he did say that I should be important enough to get some kinda reply.

I think the reason me and my friend get alone so well is because we act the same. Though put us in a group and I tend to be the more bossy one... Lol me bossy what a fucking joke. I do better following orders than giving them. 

The most in common thing we seem to have is our share of heart aches and being used.

We always try to help each other out when the other is down. I swear if it wasnt for the age and race we could be twins because we like almost he same things

Expectation...

Proof Positive...

He doesnt seem to care how I feel...

Yeah all that "if my slave is not good neither am I" or whatever...

Guess it only applies for me to getting infected paper cuts and bloody noises but not a mental break down caused by stress...

But hey no biggie its not like he is physiologist or anything, though some sign of support or at least acknowledgment is better than nothing...

Hope my dad wont be watching me tonight while I choke myself till I pass out. Its the only thing that seems to help when Im alone

Also having no idea what my Master looks like is kinda silly. I dont really care what he looks like I would just like to be able to recognize him when I see him for the first time in person. Also its kinda hard to worship something where all you have is a pic of them after eye surgery

Though I dont mind staring at him all day long. Really wish I could stare at my Master