Ju-on...

Just realized that my breathing sounds like the ghost of  Kayako from Ju-on...

Might watch that movie later once I dont feel dead tried.

Really hate taking any meds because they usually make me feel worse

Drowning in snot...

Hate getting sick...

The meds I have make me feel drunk too because of the alcohol in it...

All I feel like I want to do is sleep but my nose wont stop running and I cant breathe...

Hope Master's mom is doing better. Even though I never met his mom and know nothing of her; I have a feeling that she is  a very nice and good lady

Praying...

Praying for Master's mom to get better. Also that the doctors find out what the problem is and that it isnt anything serious.

It saddens me that he has to go thru this and I cannot be there for him in person.

Master...

She misses her Master so much...

Loves it when He messages her...

Hate it when days so by and there is no word from Him...

She hopes he is ok...

Snowballing...

Its been over a week since my mom called AT&T to fix our phone and its still out...

All of the minutes are used up on my cell phone so even if somebody was trying to call me for a job interview I wont know...

What is it bad things keep happening to me?

I just want to be with my Master but things keep stopping me...

I would really love it if he would rescue me but that only happens in fairy tails..

I will keep trying though because my Master doesnt want me to be weak. Im just at the point where Im fed up of not being with him...

The ongoing issues with my dad is just making me want to leave here even more...

Why cant anything good ever happen?

Crying...

My dad is getting on my nerves so much that Im crying...

I was going to the library to get some books for my mom and was gonna stop at the grocery store to get some milk because we are out of milk and only have $5 left. Well he was like get a small thing of milk and get him a $1 hamburger. I told him he doesnt need a hamburger and with hardly having any money we cant get what we dont need.

Well he took the bank card and said he was gonna get the milk. He went to McDonanlds and only got the smallest carton of milk from the grocery store which will hardly last two days.

Trying to talk to my dad is useless because he thinks he never does anything wrong.

I am so tried of having to deal with him Im not even sure what else to say...


I just hope my Master isnt like this

Its over...

My blood work that is :P

I have been known to pass out if I dont eat food for long periods so I was kinda working about fasting in order to have my blood work done for my physical.

Also my motion sickness seems to get worse if I travel on an empty stomach.

I was so glad neither of those happened. Though I do feel a little weak.

Im just glad its over.

I had to close my eyes because watching the nurse taking my blood was starting to make me feel sick.

Think I will take a nap now.

I want to email my Master about this because I love telling him everything but sometimes I feel like I am bothering him. He never complained about it though so I guess Im not bothering him

Happiness Overload...

Even though today is my mom's colonoscopy and my physical I feel very very happy almost to the point of giggling. I am also smiling  a lot today. Nothing as really changed I just feel extremely good.

Emailed my Master this morning to hopefully share some of my happiness while I was waiting for my doctor's appointment and he said he is also having a good morning. <3

Even though I have going to the doctor's and having a pamp smear it has not brought me down one bit.

I just dont know what this is I have never felt this happy before in my life. Maybe this means something good will happen

Rejected...

By dailymotion....

Gah people have told me to upload my yaoi videos on dailymotion because its better than youtube but its rejecting my videos also...

I took me over a week for part 2 to upload without any errors...

Gotta keep trying it again...


Hope my Master wont hate me for saying this because I have read that because of the Japanese takeover of South Korea; and Japan trying to remove everything Korean, that many Koreans hate the Japanese. I totally understand that...

But I wish that the rest of the world was as understanding as Japan is. They allow extremely graphic scenes and images in anime and manga because they know its fictional and that you shouldnt really do that. America however, is all like "oh my kid killed people because he learned about it in video games"...  Really? So by using that train of thought that means that if I play Surgeon Simulator then I can preform that open brain surgery on you with no problems...

Cant foget about nipple torture...

Found this and it made me think of Master

Though for his version nipple torture would have to be added <3

Becoming Ugh...

Blonde...

Why did it have to be blonde...

The same hair color as most other women...

I dont want to be like other people...

I love my reddish hair and being unique...

But if Master wants it he gets it....

I wont be happy about it and my hair will look horrible when it grows out but whatever...

I remember when I was in my dying hair every color phase and blonde was the worst looking color on me...

Hope it makes him happy

Excitement and Questions...

I have been over excited and happy over me and my Master upcoming anniversary. So much so I have been smiling all the time.

Though there is still a lot of questions that I would like to have answered. Like what is excepted of me when Im with my Master and if I will be his only slave. I do remember him saying that if I had a sister I would teach her how to serve him...

The only thing that want me to leave my Master is not being his only slave. He has seen my jealous streak. Even if Im alpha sub I would not be happy.

I am not comfortable with having any type of authority at all and I will not be happy if I am not the only one for my Master. I should have asked this question when he brought it up but I think the time has passed. Its just whenever he talks I start floating off into sub space and forget everything...

Our Anniversary...

Since I no longer have my fetlife account I dont have the exact day when I agreed to by my Master's slave but I think its around September 20th.

With him I have never been happier in my life. I finally feel like Im in my true place and like I belong.

Though I do long for the day when I can be in physical presence. So I can feel his ownership and his love.

Trust My Dad....

Im worried about being homeless and my mom told me to trust my dad that we wont become homeless...

Every time I have trusted my dad to do something he always let me down and never did it...

In fact he said himself why should he have to worry about the house when he is going to die soon...

First off, the doctor never told him he has so long to live. There is nothing wrong with him except he is lazy and hates doing work. I dont even think he cares if his family becomes homeless because he doesnt want to have to do anything about it. He will just let it happen because he is too lazy...

I hate lazy people...

I dont want to become homeless because Im scared I will lose my Master. He has been so wonderful to me

Gimme plox...

I miss having animals so much.

Kinda surprised my Master got him a cat though...

From what I have been learning about Korea and Korean; pets arent as common as over here though they slowly are becoming a thing...

Though my Master is different so I shouldnt compare him to your average Korean. He is the best person ever <3

Like the saying goes you can tell a lot about a person by how they treat animals...

Him getting this kitten just make me love him more <3

So glad him and Mochi (?) are getting along so well <3

Learing So Much

Thanks to the small group I am in on facebook I learned that my separation anxiety and feeling abandoned was really sub drop...

All I knew is that I missed my Master a lot and I felt alone like he left me. it was horrible. now that I understand it I can control it more


----------

Im learning Korean <3

I have two apps on my phone but I feel kinda silly talking to my phone. Also I seem to talk quiet so my phone doesnt pick up everything I say

Watching videos seem to help me more though...

Like with learning Japanese viva playing visual novels and watching Black Butler & Hellsing I more of an audio learning than visual learner

Also Korean is really a cute place <3

I would not mind living there

Never knew why...

I thought maybe it was my PMS that would make me super emotional and depressed and feeling like I was alone and abandoned by my Master but I found out that separation anxiety is part of and can cause sub drop...

This actually make more since than think it was my PMS...

I am not saying that sub drop is any less worse it just makes me realize I much I really need and miss my Master


*unrelated picture but I just happened to see it and I love it plus its my favorite color red*

Fav porn to watch...

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