No job yet...

Keep putting in at least 4 applications a week but nobody ever calls me back. This is so frustrating

I know Master is in college and college students have no money so Im not even gonna ask him to help pay for my plane ticket to see him. I know I should depend on him but I have never been the type of person to ask for help. Im the type of person that will struggle and never ask for help. I was even like that as a kid in elementary school

Back to normal

I feel back to my normal self now... I hate it when Im PMSing. Im not sure if I did the right thing in pushing my Master away but I didnt want to say anything to him that I didnt mean.

I also hope that he understand what PMS is and that I didnt purposely push him away

Women are complex...

When feeling lonely  you would think that we would want to talk to their loved ones but noooo... I need to be left alone in fear of saying something stupid  that I dont really mean

I just feel so drained right now I cant deal with other people. Its like I have nothing left to give

Also the thing about me masturbating by myself I never get any pleasure out if. I only masturbate if told to and its all for Him. I have always been like that. Like Lady Gaga said I was born this way

Venting

Every since a few days when my Master got on my case about not being with him it seems like he has been very distant. I know he has class and work but we hardly ever talk anymore. I feel emotionally drained because so far I have done so much for him while he seems to be giving me minimum effort.

I know its different now that he took me back but I miss our talks and seeing his face. I dont think he realizes how I feel without him and its hard to put in words Hell ever since I realized I was a slave and was willing to give my life over to another person my emotions have been crazy. I know I need to be patient and I dont want another Master. I just would like one message a day so I know he still thinks about me a little and is still alive.

I know its supposed to be all about him but what about when Im unhappy and feeling neglected...

I need to buy more tissues because Im almost out again